Moody's depression
by Luna's magic
Summary: A look at Moodys life, love and an unspeakable crime committed against his family


[Name]: Luna's Magic

[House]:Ravenclaw

[Subject/Task No.]:

[Title]: Mad-eye Moody's Depression– A unspeakable event.

It had been a year since his wife and daughter had been brutally murdered, 9 months since he took out their killers and lost his leg in the process. When in the Hospital, James Potter had come by each and everyday. Then in August, Lily Potter had come by his house. Even though it was only half two in the afternoon, Alastor was on his way to becoming very drunk. He didn't care anymore. His wand in front of him was testement to that. He wanted his wife; Willow and Daughter; Winter back.

Lily had let herself into his house and found him slumped in an armchair in front of the fireplace. Tumbler of whiskey in one hand, Photograph of Willow and Winter in another.

"Well, fine mess ya got ya self into ain't it?" Her strong working class Cumbrian accent coming out. Everyone who knew Lily knew, that when her accent came out from behind her more polished and refined speech, that all hell was about to break loose.

Mad eye looked round at Lily who was leaning against the door frame to the living room, her long red hair plaited and slung over one shoulder. Her milky white skin flushed. And the look of anger in her eyes.

"Piss off Lily." Mad Eye said taking a gulp of the whiskey. Lily lifted herself off the door frame and walked into the living room.

"Well that's ah nice way to greet yeh guests, can see yeh a real hoot at parties." Lily said. She went a flopped down onto the settee, and gave Mad Eye a look of pure venom.

"Ah didn't ask yeh un come did I?" Mad Eye shot back.

"Nah yeh din't. But the fact yeh said yeh were coming to meh son's christening party this after. And yeh didn't show up. I wanted to make sure yeh hadn't put yeh head in the cauldron." Lily said .

Mad Eye looked at her, his bloodshot eyes barely focusing enough on her. "I ain't fit to beh around kids. I ain't fit to be around anyone."

Lily looked at Mad Eye and smiled. "why, cause yeh a raving drunk? Trust meh, I have Sirius and James in the house sleeping off whatever Hagrid gave 'em one more drunk won't make a blind bit of difference."

Mad Eye got up and went across to the drinks cabinet. Pouring himself another drink, he spun round and looked at Lily who had her arms folded across her chest. "Yeh don't see do ya? I can't be round kids, I can't! "

Lily said calmly "Why? Cause yeh lost Winter? Because yeh little girl died? Well Mad eye, I'll tell yeh this right now, yeh not the only one who's ever lost a child, yeh not the only bledy person who's wife was murdered. Because same maniac decided he wanted to rule the world." Lily said with tears in her eyes.

" '78 I was first pregnant, went over to meh folks to tell 'em that they were going to be grandparents. I arrive and find 'em both dead, I look round for meh sister only to be attacked and cruciod. They held me under for nearly five minutes. It was only the fact that Eliene Snape came 'cross the road and disturbed them that I am alive now. I woke up in the Hospital. To be told that meh parents were dead and the baby miscarried. So don't yeh even dare think you have more pain than anyone else.

You were blessed, blessed with Willow and Winter. Yeh may think you lost the most. But it was only because you had the most." Lily finished tears glistening in her eyes.

Mad Eye looked at her, a deep ball of shame and guilt knotting in his stomach. "Lily I..." but he was cut off Lily raising her hand. "Don't say anything...just come sit back down." Alastor stomped back to the chair and sat down. His head in his hands.

Lily leaned forward and rubbed his shoulder. "Talk to me Alastor." Lily said, her polished, refined speech back in control.

"Its my fault Lily. I didn't set enough wards. I wasn't vigilant enough. If I had more Vigilance, if I had taken the time that morning . They'd be alive. Its my fault." Alastor said his shoulders shaking as he was trying not to cry.

Lily got up off the settee and Knelt in front of him. "Alastor, Look at me" It took Alastor a few minutes before he could look up properly. He looked into Lily soft kind eyes. "Willow's and Winter's deaths were not your fault. They are the fault of the Death Eaters, The Men who cast the killing curse at Willow, who Tortured Winter, they are responsible Not you. I promise Sirius was the first responder to the scene. He was the one to look after Winter as she died. James was the one to Investigate. And do you know what James told me?" Lily said

Alastor shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "Even if the wards had been set, Even if Willow and Winter were in the best wards known to man, The wards would have mealy slowed them down, The death eaters were coming and nothing could have stopped them." Lily said calmly. "You did everything you possibly could to look after them. And they love you for it. I promise." Lily said.

Alastor cried, he cried heavier and longer than he had since their deaths, his whole body shaking. Silently Lily sent off a patronus asking for James help.

Lily just let Alastor cry. Letting the man let all his grief and hurt flood out of him.

An Hour later Lily was pressing a hot cup of tea into Alastors hand. He was sat in front of the fire shivering, Lily sat back down again onto the sofa. Looking at Alastor again.

"Constant Vigilance." Alastor murmered. "Constant Vigilance."

Lily leaned onto her knees "Al, You need some help." Alastor looked up at her."Yeh, I know. I can' work like this."

Lily tilted her head to one side. "What do you want help with the most?" Lily asked.

Alastor went back to looking into the flames. 'What did he need help with?' he thought to himself quietly.

'Me drinking.' He thought, it was the first thought that came to mind. He looked back at lily. "Me Drinking. I need help with." he whispered.

Lily just simply nodded. "I am here for you Al; Myself, James and Sirius. Oh and baby Harry. We are here."

Alastor simply nodded. "Thanks."

Lily grabbed her bag and pulled out a copy of the 'Healers Today' a medical magazine that she uses in her work as an unspeakable.

Flicking to the correct page, she handed the magazine to him, smiling.

Alastor too the magazine from her and noticed that a meeting of the W.A.A was circled. "I'll go with you for the first one to drop you off." Lily said calmly.

Wizards Alcoholics Anonymous. It had come to that. Alastor knew that is what he needed to do.

He looked up at Lily and simply nodded.

HPHPHPHP

Six Months Later.

A grizzled and tired man limped up the snow covered path of number 6 Godrics Hollow. , it was late january and had been bitterly cold. Thick snow had covered everything and the cottage in front of him looked like a postcard. As he got to the wooden green door He suddenly felt nervous. He swollowed gipping tightly to the card gift bag he was holding. . No he needed to do this. He had to.

He lifted the cast-iron knocker shaped like a Griffin and rapped it smartly against the ancient wooden door.

A few seconds later and a very tall tanned man with messy black hair and sparkling brown eyes flung the door open.

"What ya doing boyo, I could have been a Death Eater, Could have been Tom Riddle. Yeh stupid idiot. Yeh didn't practice constant vigilance." Alastor snapped at him.

James smiled. "Al, I knew it was you because our wards picked up your magical signature, Not even Polyjuice can immatate that." James said mischief sparkled in his eyes.

Alastor looked down rather sheepishly "I, Ah...urm came by to see you and Lily and yeh little one. Is that okay?" Alastor asked.

James beamed. "I thought you would never come. Come in friend." James said opening the door wider and letting through Alastor.

The door opened up into a small passage way. Flag stone flooring with rugs, whitewashed walls with a small oak hall table and enchanted mirror above it. Staircase straight in front of him, with a room going off to the left. . Alastor limped into the living room hitting a wall of warmth and comfort. A large fire roaring in the fire place. Sofa and arm chairs dotted in front of it and Harry in a small playpen nearby.

Lily came out of the kitchen which was just off the living room tea cloth in one hand and a white plate in the other. Lily broke into a huge smile. Teeth flashing white, her red hair glowing. "Alastor!" she cried in happieness. "Come in, Come in. Take a seat. Can I get you anything ? Tea, coffee?" Lily offered.

"Nah thanks anyway lily. I hope I am not disturbing." Alastor said

"No, not at all. We just finished what can I do for you. Lily said as she took a seat by the fire place. Alastor sat down on the sofa, and james in the arm chair opposite lilys. Harry looked up at the Adults curiously.

"I ah, I need to talk to yeh both, and I need to apologise to Harry." Alastor began awkwardly twisting the handle of the bag between his fingers.

Lily and James shot curious looks at each other but said nothing.

"Last year, well..I hurt and upset a lot of people. I..eh couldn't see past me own grief and how it upset others...I thought meh drinking was..under control, but it wern't. I just didn't want to face not, having willow and winter. None of it is an excuse, if willow were around now, well she'd be swearing at me in every language known to man. So with help, I stopped the drinking and got more help. But part of that help is making amends for bad behaviour and reflecting on it. I realise that you two were people I hurt I want to say sorry, to both of yeh." Alastor said softly

Lily stood up and walked over to Alastor and wrapped her arms around him. She didn't say anything just hugged him. After a few moments she stepped away and turned to pick up Harry. James smiled at Alastor and in that moment no words needed to be said.

Lily turned back to Alastor with Harry on her hip. She carefully sat down again next to Alastor, Harry staring up at the Grizzled man, eyes wide filled with curiosity.

Lily leaned her head forward to Harry's ear. "Harry, this man is Al, he's Mama and Dada's friend. He wants to talk to you. Is that okay?" Lily asked Harry, Harry looked up at his Mama and noticed she looked very sad, he looked at his Dada. Even if Harry didn't understand everything he knew his Mama and Dada were very serious. He looked at Alastor again and Nodded. He reached out towards Alastor his chubby baby arms grasping at air. Alastor carefully took Harry from Lily and sat Harry on his knee.

"Hello mate, I'm Alastor, but you can call me uncle Al if yeh like. I'm sorry I didn't meet yeh before now, I missed yeh party and everything and that was wrong of me. I weren't very well and I didn't want to see anybody. But I want to make it up to yeh if I can. Is that okay?" Alastor said to the little boy.

Harry considered Alastor for a few seconds then slowly nodded. Alastor broke into a wide smile.

"Thank yeh Harry."

Harry reached up at the grizzled mans face, touching the many red scars going across it. "Hurt." Harry said softly. Looking into Alastor piecing blue eyes. "Yeah, mate, Hurt. Bad guys hurt me, but I am okay." Alastor replied. Harry had a confused look on his face. Then turned to his Mama. "'ama kiss hurt better." Harry demanded.

James, Lily and Alastor laughed. Lily whispered "oh my sweetheart Mama can't make that better. But Uncle Alastor is okay, I promise."

Harry looked like he was about to burst into tears, his emerald eyes swimming with tears. Alastor gave Harry a reassuring cuddle. "Its okay mate, no need to cry. I got something for you." Alastor said.

He leaned down and pulled up the bag, carefully repositioned himself with Harry on his lap and the bag infront of Harry, he carefully helped harry open the bag. Out of the bag came a large Scarlett Dragon with Green eyes and black wings.

Lily gasped, recognising it to be one of winters treasured cuddly toys. She looked toward Alastor "Al, are you sure?" she asked

"Yeh, winter would have liked Harry to have it." he replied. Softly.

Harry clapped his hands and squealed in delight. Harry caught hold of the Dragon and held it tightly. It suddenly roared and flapped it wings making Harry jump and burrow into Alastors Jacket.

All the adults chuckling again as Harry carefully peaked out of Alastors coat and held it again.

From that day on Alastor became a regular visitor to the potter family and continued his W.A.A meetings. He even went as far as only having a hip flask not trusting anyone not to spike his tea with alcohol. His flask charmed to never to have alcoholic drinks in it.

When James and Lily died, Alastor protested to have Harry come live with him, but, unfortunetly, it was discovered his was an Alcoholic and he was barred from having any custody. He also never spoke of Willow or Winter. There were very few people who knew his family, and their unspeakable death. Those people were now dead.

The End


End file.
